So this blog is going to be more lively now. Going to be using it to post numerous strands of my life.
i really don't like the format of most blogs but i am going to do my best to appreciate what it can do and take it from there.
Here are some things to be looking forward to:
General Accounting for xtn
These post will chronicle what i spend cash wise for the coming year. i realized that most people have no idea how to interpret my experiences of limiting my money earning to $6000/year or $500/month. i started doing this about 18 (maybe 19) years ago as a way to remove myself from the US Tax system in order to keep as much money as i could from going to support the Military War Machine. It has been an interesting experience figuring out how to make all the other economies visible that are usually the grease for the squeaky wheel of capitalism.
The 13 Full Moon Lunar Year Daily Ritual Art Project
Last December 28th, on the Dark Snow Moon, i initiated a year long process in which, starting with a Barbie Doll, i dipped her in paint. i continued dipping her in paint everyday since. Each subsequent Full Moon another Barbie was found and she too started to be dipped. At the moment there are 8 former Barbie Dolls being transformed and revealing themselves.
Every Stitch Counts:
There are several projects that fall under this umbrella. The one project i am going to be concentrating a lot of effort on is the One Square Inch Cross Stitch project. Planning to cajole, seduce, persuade, etc 1000s and 1000s of people to cross stitch 1 square inch in their favorite color and send it to me so that periodically all of these squares can be used like mosaic tiles to create site specific, temporary giant mural. Each square will have an ID so that the person who made it can follow along as it is used differently in each mural.
So more to come!
Exciting stuff for me and i hope for you!
with pleasure in the struggle
xtn~christian~Ask Nicely
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
How to go from being a distracted blogger to a consistent blogger?
Wow. i haven't checked in here in a while. Too many other AUDACIOUS things going on in my life. i am now living on Staten Island for at least the summer and the Audacious Year struggle continues. i am still baking cake everyday. Have only missed 7 days since November 3rd. Three of the days were in one hard ass troubling 10 day period.
As a self professed Process Queen, this blog is an attempt for me to show my process more. Which i want to do and will do as i can. i'll be posting the text to the zine i managed to get done for The Philly Trans Health Conference that happened May 31st - June 2nd. It was enabled and empowered by Asher, my 14 year old friend who managed to write a zine of his own. He has an amazing story to tell too. Here is the link to his indiegogo fundraising campaign. http://www.indiegogo.com/asher2ams
i am one of his adults. There is a piece i am working on about our rather interesting and unique relationship.
Hopefully that will be in shareable shape soon too.
More soon!
As a self professed Process Queen, this blog is an attempt for me to show my process more. Which i want to do and will do as i can. i'll be posting the text to the zine i managed to get done for The Philly Trans Health Conference that happened May 31st - June 2nd. It was enabled and empowered by Asher, my 14 year old friend who managed to write a zine of his own. He has an amazing story to tell too. Here is the link to his indiegogo fundraising campaign. http://www.indiegogo.com/asher2ams
i am one of his adults. There is a piece i am working on about our rather interesting and unique relationship.
Hopefully that will be in shareable shape soon too.
More soon!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Speak out even if your voice is shaking.
i have always lived a pretty public life. If you had the opportunity to sit next to me for any length of time most likely you would get to hear a fairly candid assessment of who, what, where, why and how i am.
Over the years, friends have grown tentative in how they greet me knowing that my response to "How are you?" might mean a 15 minute analytic self-reflective diatribe or a constellation of koan-like aphorisms. i most always took the question seriously.
There is a difference between being open and honest with friends and strangers and being public. Being public means saying things out loud or in print that is to enter into the general discourse of civil society. For example, it might mean being at a meeting of some kind and when asked for my thoughts i would say something like. "Well as a white person my words might be heard to mean...... but as a queer person i have this view..... and as a person with "learning differences" i can appreciate ...... and as an anarchist my vision is molded by...." There were many "hats" i would employ to help others orient themselves to the intentions of my words. i would juggle these 'hats" and choose as purposefully as i could to allow my presence to be of significance while hopefully allowing others' voices and words and presences to be better acknowledged and appreciated. i was acutely aware of how my privileges could be utilized so that others would have less of a challenge in confronting the various oppressive dynamics that pervade our society.
i write these things in the past tense in the similar way some Sex Workers speak of themselves as "former Sex Workers" in order to protect themselves. i am only as good as i do going forward.
Also, looking back one can pick and choose and condense and edit. My intentions were quite often poorly articulated and executed. The feed back loop of theory and action is praxis. We learn. How do we go about applying what we learn to our being and doing? There is this vision i have of The Puzzlement Laboratory. A place where i can connect and blend my 20+ years of radical social change experience with my life long pastimes i call my Mental Health Handicrafts. Currently the efforts to manifest this Puzzlement Laboratory is being cast under the rubric of what i call Social Permaculture and Natural Community Building.
Social Permaculture is how to apply the principles of Permaculture to Human Social Dynamics and Natural Community Building is similar and maybe simply stated as "Building Community As We Build The Buildings For Community".
My Mental Health Handicrafts are the doing of the making of things. When i have a problem that stymies me i quite often take a break from active deciphering to picking up a handicraft such as knitting, or origami, or making a giant 3D male genitalia puzzle out of paper mache or baking. In concentrating on this hands-on process, quite often it allows for things in the background of the mind to move around and allow a different perspective to be achieved that may not resolve the "problem" but allows it to be appreciated and learned from in new ways. Quite often we try to solve our problems without appreciating them. Or others see us struggling with a problem and they come in and chop chop chop solve it for us. This is a great disservice. If we don't come to an appreciation and understanding of our problems they will just return in the same or related form.
The mathematician and poet and artist Piet Hein stated writing aphorism called Grooks as a form of resistance and hope during the occupation of Denmark during WWII. One of the best known and for me inspirational ones goes like this:
Problems worthy of Attack
Prove their Worth
By hitting Back.
As i struggle with my particular experience in this particular reality i find myself in, i am choosing to now put myself OUT THERE by creating more open access points beyond my comfort zone of what ever privileges i might have and attempt to seduce and cajole the "public" into community and to abase myself before my problems so that they might deign to offer up their secrets and mysteries.
Bear with my waxing poetic.... i am learning one day, one moment at a time.
Blessed Be and Divinely Doo-doo.
with pleasure in the struggle
xtn~ Ask Nicely~ christian
Over the years, friends have grown tentative in how they greet me knowing that my response to "How are you?" might mean a 15 minute analytic self-reflective diatribe or a constellation of koan-like aphorisms. i most always took the question seriously.
There is a difference between being open and honest with friends and strangers and being public. Being public means saying things out loud or in print that is to enter into the general discourse of civil society. For example, it might mean being at a meeting of some kind and when asked for my thoughts i would say something like. "Well as a white person my words might be heard to mean...... but as a queer person i have this view..... and as a person with "learning differences" i can appreciate ...... and as an anarchist my vision is molded by...." There were many "hats" i would employ to help others orient themselves to the intentions of my words. i would juggle these 'hats" and choose as purposefully as i could to allow my presence to be of significance while hopefully allowing others' voices and words and presences to be better acknowledged and appreciated. i was acutely aware of how my privileges could be utilized so that others would have less of a challenge in confronting the various oppressive dynamics that pervade our society.
i write these things in the past tense in the similar way some Sex Workers speak of themselves as "former Sex Workers" in order to protect themselves. i am only as good as i do going forward.
Also, looking back one can pick and choose and condense and edit. My intentions were quite often poorly articulated and executed. The feed back loop of theory and action is praxis. We learn. How do we go about applying what we learn to our being and doing? There is this vision i have of The Puzzlement Laboratory. A place where i can connect and blend my 20+ years of radical social change experience with my life long pastimes i call my Mental Health Handicrafts. Currently the efforts to manifest this Puzzlement Laboratory is being cast under the rubric of what i call Social Permaculture and Natural Community Building.
Social Permaculture is how to apply the principles of Permaculture to Human Social Dynamics and Natural Community Building is similar and maybe simply stated as "Building Community As We Build The Buildings For Community".
My Mental Health Handicrafts are the doing of the making of things. When i have a problem that stymies me i quite often take a break from active deciphering to picking up a handicraft such as knitting, or origami, or making a giant 3D male genitalia puzzle out of paper mache or baking. In concentrating on this hands-on process, quite often it allows for things in the background of the mind to move around and allow a different perspective to be achieved that may not resolve the "problem" but allows it to be appreciated and learned from in new ways. Quite often we try to solve our problems without appreciating them. Or others see us struggling with a problem and they come in and chop chop chop solve it for us. This is a great disservice. If we don't come to an appreciation and understanding of our problems they will just return in the same or related form.
The mathematician and poet and artist Piet Hein stated writing aphorism called Grooks as a form of resistance and hope during the occupation of Denmark during WWII. One of the best known and for me inspirational ones goes like this:
Problems worthy of Attack
Prove their Worth
By hitting Back.
As i struggle with my particular experience in this particular reality i find myself in, i am choosing to now put myself OUT THERE by creating more open access points beyond my comfort zone of what ever privileges i might have and attempt to seduce and cajole the "public" into community and to abase myself before my problems so that they might deign to offer up their secrets and mysteries.
Bear with my waxing poetic.... i am learning one day, one moment at a time.
Blessed Be and Divinely Doo-doo.
with pleasure in the struggle
xtn~ Ask Nicely~ christian
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Discipline.
i need to challenge myself to blog here more regularly because so many things keep happening.
i need to differentiate between The Year Of Living Audaciously; Having My Cake & Sharing It Too; Family Healthcare Crisis Conversation and The Puzzlement Laboratory.
i think they will each get their own blog.
i am collecting small saying to go on stickers and hopefully eventually buttons.
An example would be: Not Just For Entertainment Purposes Only
another: Defining yourself by what you are not is a losing proposition.
Another: Chaos is not the lack of order; it is one's inability to perceive the order.
This last weekend up in NYC i managed to bake 10 cakes for the Que(e)ry V: Open Access fundraiser for QZAP- The Queer Zine Archive Project. They scan past and present queer zines and transform them in to PDFs so they are accessible on the internet for viewing and download. There are currently 400 of them available and about 1000 more need to be done. The Queer Librarians efforts managed to raise over $1600 to help in the cause.
http://www.qzap.org/v6/index.php
http://queeryparty.tumblr.com/
i made 10 cakes to offer for donations and that was a lot of fun. Sitting and talking with different folks and getting to meet Anonymous Boy (Tony) and his partner (Ron)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymous_Boy
i have been telling storied about this person i had never met since the early 90's when his work started to creep into my consciousness. And then i started to meet people who actually knew him and they shared their stories of Tony's life. His growing up in the burbs of NYC and his escapades as a queer punk kid. His meeting and falling in love with a much older man and the ensuing familial trials and tribulations. Reinterpreting other people's recounting of other people's TRUE LIFE STORY is always a hoot.
Tony and Ron have been together for over 2 decades now, so that is what is so scandalous! Tony says for their 25 Anniversary he wants Silver.
Other highlights of the evening included balancing the warm fuzzy drunken good will with the bewildered drunken, drug-ended stumble down the stairs revelers with the one lone obnoxious person who seemed genuinely interested in transgender issues at first but seemed to be working out issue around having both their parents being lawyers. The cross examinations were really frustrating. The person finally said that they were being an asshole and they were drunk and i told them that i agreed and i thanks them for getting me angry because it keeps one on edge!
The weekend also included losing my brand newly made Masking Tape Wallet that had my DL, debit card and $ 5 Canadian in it. This necessitated lots of things including having to go to the Credit Union at Fort Hamilton down by the Verrazano Bridge. With some Patience, Insistence and Persistence i managed to get past the Guards and on to the grounds. i then had to wait 45 minutes because the CU lady had to take a lunch break necessitated by her colleague having quit a few weeks ago. i then made it to NJ for $3.11/gal gas and had a relative breeze of a trip down US 1 and I95 to philly.
More later cuz right now i need to get showered, dressed, to the Mariposa Coop and over to Caleb's house to start the Sally Fallon Nourishing Traditions Poppy seed Cake for Thanksgiving.
i need to differentiate between The Year Of Living Audaciously; Having My Cake & Sharing It Too; Family Healthcare Crisis Conversation and The Puzzlement Laboratory.
i think they will each get their own blog.
i am collecting small saying to go on stickers and hopefully eventually buttons.
An example would be: Not Just For Entertainment Purposes Only
another: Defining yourself by what you are not is a losing proposition.
Another: Chaos is not the lack of order; it is one's inability to perceive the order.
This last weekend up in NYC i managed to bake 10 cakes for the Que(e)ry V: Open Access fundraiser for QZAP- The Queer Zine Archive Project. They scan past and present queer zines and transform them in to PDFs so they are accessible on the internet for viewing and download. There are currently 400 of them available and about 1000 more need to be done. The Queer Librarians efforts managed to raise over $1600 to help in the cause.
http://www.qzap.org/v6/index.php
http://queeryparty.tumblr.com/
i made 10 cakes to offer for donations and that was a lot of fun. Sitting and talking with different folks and getting to meet Anonymous Boy (Tony) and his partner (Ron)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymous_Boy
i have been telling storied about this person i had never met since the early 90's when his work started to creep into my consciousness. And then i started to meet people who actually knew him and they shared their stories of Tony's life. His growing up in the burbs of NYC and his escapades as a queer punk kid. His meeting and falling in love with a much older man and the ensuing familial trials and tribulations. Reinterpreting other people's recounting of other people's TRUE LIFE STORY is always a hoot.
Tony and Ron have been together for over 2 decades now, so that is what is so scandalous! Tony says for their 25 Anniversary he wants Silver.
Other highlights of the evening included balancing the warm fuzzy drunken good will with the bewildered drunken, drug-ended stumble down the stairs revelers with the one lone obnoxious person who seemed genuinely interested in transgender issues at first but seemed to be working out issue around having both their parents being lawyers. The cross examinations were really frustrating. The person finally said that they were being an asshole and they were drunk and i told them that i agreed and i thanks them for getting me angry because it keeps one on edge!
The weekend also included losing my brand newly made Masking Tape Wallet that had my DL, debit card and $ 5 Canadian in it. This necessitated lots of things including having to go to the Credit Union at Fort Hamilton down by the Verrazano Bridge. With some Patience, Insistence and Persistence i managed to get past the Guards and on to the grounds. i then had to wait 45 minutes because the CU lady had to take a lunch break necessitated by her colleague having quit a few weeks ago. i then made it to NJ for $3.11/gal gas and had a relative breeze of a trip down US 1 and I95 to philly.
More later cuz right now i need to get showered, dressed, to the Mariposa Coop and over to Caleb's house to start the Sally Fallon Nourishing Traditions Poppy seed Cake for Thanksgiving.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
A change in one element in a system changes the whole system.
Have been overwhelmed in the past few days with too many elements with which to contend. Happily distracted myself with other projects. Trying to create and intro video for the Audacious Year Fundraiser is challenging and daunting. Waking up the other morning with so many wonderful ideas and possibilities and then how to choose among them? How to structure and create a flow?
What i discovered is that i need to find ways of describing myself and my work to myself first. From there i might be more able to describe the projects and how they are related to the larger.
My current attempt looks something like this when types out.
Then comes
Chaos is not disorder; it is one's inability to perceive the order.
Remember to
Keep It Simple, Simple!
There is a difference between Simple and Easy.
Easy, as in relative ease, is the relationship between
familiarity to a system and the systems internal ability to allow its inertia
or momentum to process something through it.
As we work farther and deeper into this i share:
Complicated is the number of elements in a system and
Complex is the number of relationships between the elements in a system.
Scratch.... scratch.... scratch..... your head or the creepy crawly on your skin!
We are challenged to
Before we are deep in a singular rut:
We are encouraged to pay attention to:
And then be prepared to acknowledge:
Not just other people's but our internal points of perspective.
Holding space for all this is a trio of young women:
When they are actively engaged in the process and are working together more significant work happens.
_______________________________________________________________________________
This is just an attempt to describe a possibility of vision.
A friend i haven't connected with in a while and just "friend"ed on Facebook asked:
"But it sounds like you are more interested in creating a change in our social structure that would create a larger network for everyone to be able to care for their loved ones with greater ease... yes? or is your baking for a year a brainstorming feast extravaganza with no particular framework just an open palette for creativity to blossom and who knows what the end result will be. hmmm."
Another important element that needs to cellophane wrap the above is the concept of
i am swimming in some rough seas at the moment. Sharing this is..... well so many things. More later.
i am going to clean the kitchen floor and even move the stove out and get back there!
So many good distractions!
What i discovered is that i need to find ways of describing myself and my work to myself first. From there i might be more able to describe the projects and how they are related to the larger.
My current attempt looks something like this when types out.
_________________________________________________________________________________
First off it is a large arc, a gesture called
The Transformations System
Then comes
Chaos!
Chaos is not disorder; it is one's inability to perceive the order.
Remember to
K.I.S.S.
Keep It Simple, Simple!
There is a difference between Simple and Easy.
Simple, as in relative simplicity, is the number of variables
in a system that needs to be attended to at the same time.
As we work farther and deeper into this i share:
Complex and complicated
Scratch.... scratch.... scratch..... your head or the creepy crawly on your skin!
We are challenged to
Become comfortable with the uncomfortable.
Before we are deep in a singular rut:
We are encouraged to pay attention to:
Scale, scrutiny of detail and magnitude of magnification
And then be prepared to acknowledge:
Perspective
Holding space for all this is a trio of young women:
P-I-P
Patience-Insistence-Perseverance
When they are actively engaged in the process and are working together more significant work happens.
_______________________________________________________________________________
This is just an attempt to describe a possibility of vision.
A friend i haven't connected with in a while and just "friend"ed on Facebook asked:
"But it sounds like you are more interested in creating a change in our social structure that would create a larger network for everyone to be able to care for their loved ones with greater ease... yes? or is your baking for a year a brainstorming feast extravaganza with no particular framework just an open palette for creativity to blossom and who knows what the end result will be. hmmm."
Another important element that needs to cellophane wrap the above is the concept of
both/and.
i am swimming in some rough seas at the moment. Sharing this is..... well so many things. More later.
i am going to clean the kitchen floor and even move the stove out and get back there!
So many good distractions!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Prepping for a new video intro promo!
After the soft launch of the indiegogo campaign,
http://www.indiegogo.com/Having-My-Cake-and-Sharing-It-Too last week, i have been trying to figure out how to get the Day of the Dead Ritual intro promo to show up. Luckily dear Andy Trull managed to talk me through it and it is finally up there. Here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDJZdfV8xtQ
Now we are planning the hard launch with the mass emailing and get it out there energy. Having gotten three funders in the first couple days is so awesome. Now we have to get the momentum going.
i have spent most of the morning musing over and writing down fun ideas and then trying to figure out what to not do right now. Going to limit the length of the videos to about 2:30 min. Just make more of them!
The cake from last night turned out so nicely! It has a lovely decorative chocolate glaze that was made with Vegan Chocolate Chips, some Earth Balance but when i added the almond flavor and vanilla it seized and so i added some of the homemade Almond Milk and everything smoothed out fine.
Planning on going over and dropping it off somewhere..... Maybe The Community Acupuncture Clinic!
There is a new concern in the West Philly Neighborhood. Black Cat Baking West Philadelphia (on FB) and they are trying out some of their recipes, doing market research and all. Looks Yummy! Exciting to know of so many other bakers around and about.
Morgan's friend Madeline from Missoula Oblongata was in town visiting for a couple days of rehearsal and she got all excited about the Year of Living Audaciously. So i hope i can follow up on her invitation to come visit and bake and have healthcare conversations in a small town outside of Athens, OH.
More later!
http://www.indiegogo.com/Having-My-Cake-and-Sharing-It-Too last week, i have been trying to figure out how to get the Day of the Dead Ritual intro promo to show up. Luckily dear Andy Trull managed to talk me through it and it is finally up there. Here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDJZdfV8xtQ
Now we are planning the hard launch with the mass emailing and get it out there energy. Having gotten three funders in the first couple days is so awesome. Now we have to get the momentum going.
i have spent most of the morning musing over and writing down fun ideas and then trying to figure out what to not do right now. Going to limit the length of the videos to about 2:30 min. Just make more of them!
The cake from last night turned out so nicely! It has a lovely decorative chocolate glaze that was made with Vegan Chocolate Chips, some Earth Balance but when i added the almond flavor and vanilla it seized and so i added some of the homemade Almond Milk and everything smoothed out fine.
Planning on going over and dropping it off somewhere..... Maybe The Community Acupuncture Clinic!
There is a new concern in the West Philly Neighborhood. Black Cat Baking West Philadelphia (on FB) and they are trying out some of their recipes, doing market research and all. Looks Yummy! Exciting to know of so many other bakers around and about.
Morgan's friend Madeline from Missoula Oblongata was in town visiting for a couple days of rehearsal and she got all excited about the Year of Living Audaciously. So i hope i can follow up on her invitation to come visit and bake and have healthcare conversations in a small town outside of Athens, OH.
More later!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
First Recipe Post!
Baking at the moment a variation on
ENER-G Egg-Free Victoria Sponge Cake:
2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup brown sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon Ener-G Egg Replacer
1/4 cup plus 1/2 tablespoon shortening
1-1/3 cup water
Flavoring of your choice
My version:
2 cups All purpose flour
1 cup white sugar + some molasses
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon Ener-G Egg replacer
a couple tablespoons almond milk pulp
a small pour of olive oil
1-1/3 cup almond milk
Almond extract and Vanilla
mix the first five ingredients except molasses
Then mix in the oil and molasses and then the flavoring and milkd.
Stir for 2 minutes. pour into greased round bowl pan and dot liberally with chocolate chips!
preheated oven to 375. for 30 minutes or so.
Baking at Morgan's house. Keeping it Vegan for him!
ENER-G Egg-Free Victoria Sponge Cake:
2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup brown sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon Ener-G Egg Replacer
1/4 cup plus 1/2 tablespoon shortening
1-1/3 cup water
Flavoring of your choice
My version:
2 cups All purpose flour
1 cup white sugar + some molasses
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon Ener-G Egg replacer
a couple tablespoons almond milk pulp
a small pour of olive oil
1-1/3 cup almond milk
Almond extract and Vanilla
mix the first five ingredients except molasses
Then mix in the oil and molasses and then the flavoring and milkd.
Stir for 2 minutes. pour into greased round bowl pan and dot liberally with chocolate chips!
preheated oven to 375. for 30 minutes or so.
Baking at Morgan's house. Keeping it Vegan for him!
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