Contents:
1: Intro:
2: Family Healthcare Crisis Conversation
3. Having My Cake & Sharing It Too
4. Puzzlement Laboratory
5. The Year Of Living Audaciously- Indiegogo Fundraiser
Dear All of you,
Being in this cluster of people who have been a part of this Care Group (Caleb-and by extension Carlos and Calder-, Morgan, Albo, Joy and Sara Valentine) and other people who know me in Philly has been a good thing.
One of the things that has become clearer is the need to let you all know that what i am going through is a good thing. My letting myself experience all that is there, no matter how terrible it might seem to all of you and even to myself, it is worth it. It is my work.
Where i am struggling is how to make it more accessible to others and how to make what i am doing an invitation for active and transparent participation. The 3 projects are attempts at just that.
i can talk to myself all day (and i do) and dialogue with others til the cows come home but how to leave a better trace, trail, map?
A month or two ago, i texted myself: “It isn’t that we are doing things totally wrong, it’s that we aren’t doing enough things right.” i then texted a few minutes later “May all your mistakes be worth it.”
i have been thinking about the first text and now would say maybe- the things that we are doing “right” are lonely and scared. They don’t have friends to hang with and support each other. There isn’t a critical mass of them and that “right” things don’t actually all look the same as each other. “Wrongs” have a herding mentality in which they all jockey for position.
How do we support and encourage the “rights” so that they can be recognized and find each other to work together?
So chew on that while i continue.
i am, each day, better at articulating what it is i am doing. It is not the easier thing to do.
So some clearing up.
Family Healthcare Conversation:
The first stage of this conversing is for me to process the mountain of angers and frustrations i am carrying around. i am not in the place I want to be yet to share all the stuff, good, bad and beyond with the larger world. i really need you all to speak up and help make these conversations happen. i need to offer some sense of my travel plans so that you all can say what works for you time wise.
In response to Kathy’s queries, i want to remain as actively passive in the process as possible. Offering the materials, as openly as possible, that allows your curiosities to guide the process. i don’t want to clutch onto what happened in the conversation in Killaloe and use that as THE model for proceeding. i want the process to be such that you all can engage and i can respond and monitor my feelings and interest in your responses.
In the conversations i have had about Family Healthcare Crisis that just happen, it is startling how quickly i end up ranting and tearing myself apart. In the Killaloe set up, that didn’t happen. So Kathy, that would be some “good stuff.”
One of the things i think is important is the process of separating “my shit” from “other’s shit”. This is where and when i need others’ perspectives who know me so that the shit of my family dynamics, the shit of the Medical Healthcare Establishment, the shit of this sometimes shitty world and my own shit can be teased apart and the delicate and intricate connections be revealed.
It is so easy to take a cleaver to these things and just “get the job done.”
i feel that quite quickly the more practical offers in Kathy’s queries will be able to be responded to.
Having My Cake & Sharing It Too:
So a week from tonight i am starting to bake for a 48 hr marathon- From sundown on All Hallow’s Eve through All Saints Day to sunset on All Souls Day /Day of the Dead.
There is a FB Event set up and several people have already come forward to help with set up, baking and getting supplies. There is still lots to do.
This event is the kick off for the year of daily cake baking. Since 2012 is a leap year that is 366 days of baking cakes AND having the attendant conversations around it.
i am going to have a blog specifically for the Cake Baking. (Thanks Morgan for the encouragement and guidance.)
The Puzzlement Laboratory
Note the additional language. In conversation with Andy today, we kind of worked out that The Puzzlement Laboratory is a reworking of pleasurestruggle. Andy shared that he has no interest in me using my time, talents and energies in running an organization or doing payroll.
The Puzzlement Laboratory will eventually be a physical space, a workshop/workplace with shelves and cupboards to store projects and a worktable and adequate lighting. This is something i made clear up in Canada
The participatory endeavors that result in an object that maps the group’s endeavors to articulate itself is an aspect of the work in The Puzzlement Laboratory.
Having My Cake and Sharing It Too is project of The Puzzlement Laboratory.
The Family Healthcare Crisis Conversation Phase 1 –Help Me Heal is a project of The Puzzlement Laboratory.
The Family Healthcare Crisis Conversation Phase 2 – Crafting Tools for the Coordination and Communication of Care is a project of The Puzzlement Laboratory.
The Family Healthcare Crisis Conversation Phase 3 – Engaging the Medical Healthcare Establishment in Dialogue is a project of The Puzzlement Laboratory.
The Craft and Art i produce – what i would like to call Function Box Bombs are products of The Puzzlement Laboratory.
The Year Of Living Audaciously – Indiegogo fundraiser
So the idea of doing an online fundraiser has been swirling for a while. Trying to craft language and image to make sense of the various parts has been really thwarting. So instead of casting about and turning myself inside out in the struggle to narrow things down for each aspect, it seems to make sense to just go for it and make a fundraiser for the whole package.
In moving forward with this, the lovely folks at Indiegogo have many suggestions to increase the returns. One of the most important aspects is having a team, several people who will be listed on the site and help post updates and create activity and answer inquiries and promote it far and wide. i hope a few of you will be open to being listed. If you aren’t familiar with Indiegogo or even Kickstarter check them out.
With the Day of the Dead Cake Baking marathon quickly approaching i need to get this up and running. There are more than a few costs that need to be covered. Luckily, locally there have been several offers of assistance, for decorating and bakers and also a flour donation is in the works.
i have been working on a list of Premiums for the various levels of donations (another important aspect that increases $s) but need more ideas.
i am going to send this out now. Morgan’s workshop Games for Actors & Non-Actors starts in a few minutes and it make me feel oh so good to do this work/play.
Later this evening i will send out a more specific fundraiser email.
With pleasure in the struggle
xtn
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