i have always lived a pretty public life. If you had the opportunity to sit next to me for any length of time most likely you would get to hear a fairly candid assessment of who, what, where, why and how i am.
Over the years, friends have grown tentative in how they greet me knowing that my response to "How are you?" might mean a 15 minute analytic self-reflective diatribe or a constellation of koan-like aphorisms. i most always took the question seriously.
There is a difference between being open and honest with friends and strangers and being public. Being public means saying things out loud or in print that is to enter into the general discourse of civil society. For example, it might mean being at a meeting of some kind and when asked for my thoughts i would say something like. "Well as a white person my words might be heard to mean...... but as a queer person i have this view..... and as a person with "learning differences" i can appreciate ...... and as an anarchist my vision is molded by...." There were many "hats" i would employ to help others orient themselves to the intentions of my words. i would juggle these 'hats" and choose as purposefully as i could to allow my presence to be of significance while hopefully allowing others' voices and words and presences to be better acknowledged and appreciated. i was acutely aware of how my privileges could be utilized so that others would have less of a challenge in confronting the various oppressive dynamics that pervade our society.
i write these things in the past tense in the similar way some Sex Workers speak of themselves as "former Sex Workers" in order to protect themselves. i am only as good as i do going forward.
Also, looking back one can pick and choose and condense and edit. My intentions were quite often poorly articulated and executed. The feed back loop of theory and action is praxis. We learn. How do we go about applying what we learn to our being and doing? There is this vision i have of The Puzzlement Laboratory. A place where i can connect and blend my 20+ years of radical social change experience with my life long pastimes i call my Mental Health Handicrafts. Currently the efforts to manifest this Puzzlement Laboratory is being cast under the rubric of what i call Social Permaculture and Natural Community Building.
Social Permaculture is how to apply the principles of Permaculture to Human Social Dynamics and Natural Community Building is similar and maybe simply stated as "Building Community As We Build The Buildings For Community".
My Mental Health Handicrafts are the doing of the making of things. When i have a problem that stymies me i quite often take a break from active deciphering to picking up a handicraft such as knitting, or origami, or making a giant 3D male genitalia puzzle out of paper mache or baking. In concentrating on this hands-on process, quite often it allows for things in the background of the mind to move around and allow a different perspective to be achieved that may not resolve the "problem" but allows it to be appreciated and learned from in new ways. Quite often we try to solve our problems without appreciating them. Or others see us struggling with a problem and they come in and chop chop chop solve it for us. This is a great disservice. If we don't come to an appreciation and understanding of our problems they will just return in the same or related form.
The mathematician and poet and artist Piet Hein stated writing aphorism called Grooks as a form of resistance and hope during the occupation of Denmark during WWII. One of the best known and for me inspirational ones goes like this:
Problems worthy of Attack
Prove their Worth
By hitting Back.
As i struggle with my particular experience in this particular reality i find myself in, i am choosing to now put myself OUT THERE by creating more open access points beyond my comfort zone of what ever privileges i might have and attempt to seduce and cajole the "public" into community and to abase myself before my problems so that they might deign to offer up their secrets and mysteries.
Bear with my waxing poetic.... i am learning one day, one moment at a time.
Blessed Be and Divinely Doo-doo.
with pleasure in the struggle
xtn~ Ask Nicely~ christian
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Discipline.
i need to challenge myself to blog here more regularly because so many things keep happening.
i need to differentiate between The Year Of Living Audaciously; Having My Cake & Sharing It Too; Family Healthcare Crisis Conversation and The Puzzlement Laboratory.
i think they will each get their own blog.
i am collecting small saying to go on stickers and hopefully eventually buttons.
An example would be: Not Just For Entertainment Purposes Only
another: Defining yourself by what you are not is a losing proposition.
Another: Chaos is not the lack of order; it is one's inability to perceive the order.
This last weekend up in NYC i managed to bake 10 cakes for the Que(e)ry V: Open Access fundraiser for QZAP- The Queer Zine Archive Project. They scan past and present queer zines and transform them in to PDFs so they are accessible on the internet for viewing and download. There are currently 400 of them available and about 1000 more need to be done. The Queer Librarians efforts managed to raise over $1600 to help in the cause.
http://www.qzap.org/v6/index.php
http://queeryparty.tumblr.com/
i made 10 cakes to offer for donations and that was a lot of fun. Sitting and talking with different folks and getting to meet Anonymous Boy (Tony) and his partner (Ron)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymous_Boy
i have been telling storied about this person i had never met since the early 90's when his work started to creep into my consciousness. And then i started to meet people who actually knew him and they shared their stories of Tony's life. His growing up in the burbs of NYC and his escapades as a queer punk kid. His meeting and falling in love with a much older man and the ensuing familial trials and tribulations. Reinterpreting other people's recounting of other people's TRUE LIFE STORY is always a hoot.
Tony and Ron have been together for over 2 decades now, so that is what is so scandalous! Tony says for their 25 Anniversary he wants Silver.
Other highlights of the evening included balancing the warm fuzzy drunken good will with the bewildered drunken, drug-ended stumble down the stairs revelers with the one lone obnoxious person who seemed genuinely interested in transgender issues at first but seemed to be working out issue around having both their parents being lawyers. The cross examinations were really frustrating. The person finally said that they were being an asshole and they were drunk and i told them that i agreed and i thanks them for getting me angry because it keeps one on edge!
The weekend also included losing my brand newly made Masking Tape Wallet that had my DL, debit card and $ 5 Canadian in it. This necessitated lots of things including having to go to the Credit Union at Fort Hamilton down by the Verrazano Bridge. With some Patience, Insistence and Persistence i managed to get past the Guards and on to the grounds. i then had to wait 45 minutes because the CU lady had to take a lunch break necessitated by her colleague having quit a few weeks ago. i then made it to NJ for $3.11/gal gas and had a relative breeze of a trip down US 1 and I95 to philly.
More later cuz right now i need to get showered, dressed, to the Mariposa Coop and over to Caleb's house to start the Sally Fallon Nourishing Traditions Poppy seed Cake for Thanksgiving.
i need to differentiate between The Year Of Living Audaciously; Having My Cake & Sharing It Too; Family Healthcare Crisis Conversation and The Puzzlement Laboratory.
i think they will each get their own blog.
i am collecting small saying to go on stickers and hopefully eventually buttons.
An example would be: Not Just For Entertainment Purposes Only
another: Defining yourself by what you are not is a losing proposition.
Another: Chaos is not the lack of order; it is one's inability to perceive the order.
This last weekend up in NYC i managed to bake 10 cakes for the Que(e)ry V: Open Access fundraiser for QZAP- The Queer Zine Archive Project. They scan past and present queer zines and transform them in to PDFs so they are accessible on the internet for viewing and download. There are currently 400 of them available and about 1000 more need to be done. The Queer Librarians efforts managed to raise over $1600 to help in the cause.
http://www.qzap.org/v6/index.php
http://queeryparty.tumblr.com/
i made 10 cakes to offer for donations and that was a lot of fun. Sitting and talking with different folks and getting to meet Anonymous Boy (Tony) and his partner (Ron)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymous_Boy
i have been telling storied about this person i had never met since the early 90's when his work started to creep into my consciousness. And then i started to meet people who actually knew him and they shared their stories of Tony's life. His growing up in the burbs of NYC and his escapades as a queer punk kid. His meeting and falling in love with a much older man and the ensuing familial trials and tribulations. Reinterpreting other people's recounting of other people's TRUE LIFE STORY is always a hoot.
Tony and Ron have been together for over 2 decades now, so that is what is so scandalous! Tony says for their 25 Anniversary he wants Silver.
Other highlights of the evening included balancing the warm fuzzy drunken good will with the bewildered drunken, drug-ended stumble down the stairs revelers with the one lone obnoxious person who seemed genuinely interested in transgender issues at first but seemed to be working out issue around having both their parents being lawyers. The cross examinations were really frustrating. The person finally said that they were being an asshole and they were drunk and i told them that i agreed and i thanks them for getting me angry because it keeps one on edge!
The weekend also included losing my brand newly made Masking Tape Wallet that had my DL, debit card and $ 5 Canadian in it. This necessitated lots of things including having to go to the Credit Union at Fort Hamilton down by the Verrazano Bridge. With some Patience, Insistence and Persistence i managed to get past the Guards and on to the grounds. i then had to wait 45 minutes because the CU lady had to take a lunch break necessitated by her colleague having quit a few weeks ago. i then made it to NJ for $3.11/gal gas and had a relative breeze of a trip down US 1 and I95 to philly.
More later cuz right now i need to get showered, dressed, to the Mariposa Coop and over to Caleb's house to start the Sally Fallon Nourishing Traditions Poppy seed Cake for Thanksgiving.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
A change in one element in a system changes the whole system.
Have been overwhelmed in the past few days with too many elements with which to contend. Happily distracted myself with other projects. Trying to create and intro video for the Audacious Year Fundraiser is challenging and daunting. Waking up the other morning with so many wonderful ideas and possibilities and then how to choose among them? How to structure and create a flow?
What i discovered is that i need to find ways of describing myself and my work to myself first. From there i might be more able to describe the projects and how they are related to the larger.
My current attempt looks something like this when types out.
Then comes
Chaos is not disorder; it is one's inability to perceive the order.
Remember to
Keep It Simple, Simple!
There is a difference between Simple and Easy.
Easy, as in relative ease, is the relationship between
familiarity to a system and the systems internal ability to allow its inertia
or momentum to process something through it.
As we work farther and deeper into this i share:
Complicated is the number of elements in a system and
Complex is the number of relationships between the elements in a system.
Scratch.... scratch.... scratch..... your head or the creepy crawly on your skin!
We are challenged to
Before we are deep in a singular rut:
We are encouraged to pay attention to:
And then be prepared to acknowledge:
Not just other people's but our internal points of perspective.
Holding space for all this is a trio of young women:
When they are actively engaged in the process and are working together more significant work happens.
_______________________________________________________________________________
This is just an attempt to describe a possibility of vision.
A friend i haven't connected with in a while and just "friend"ed on Facebook asked:
"But it sounds like you are more interested in creating a change in our social structure that would create a larger network for everyone to be able to care for their loved ones with greater ease... yes? or is your baking for a year a brainstorming feast extravaganza with no particular framework just an open palette for creativity to blossom and who knows what the end result will be. hmmm."
Another important element that needs to cellophane wrap the above is the concept of
i am swimming in some rough seas at the moment. Sharing this is..... well so many things. More later.
i am going to clean the kitchen floor and even move the stove out and get back there!
So many good distractions!
What i discovered is that i need to find ways of describing myself and my work to myself first. From there i might be more able to describe the projects and how they are related to the larger.
My current attempt looks something like this when types out.
_________________________________________________________________________________
First off it is a large arc, a gesture called
The Transformations System
Then comes
Chaos!
Chaos is not disorder; it is one's inability to perceive the order.
Remember to
K.I.S.S.
Keep It Simple, Simple!
There is a difference between Simple and Easy.
Simple, as in relative simplicity, is the number of variables
in a system that needs to be attended to at the same time.
As we work farther and deeper into this i share:
Complex and complicated
Scratch.... scratch.... scratch..... your head or the creepy crawly on your skin!
We are challenged to
Become comfortable with the uncomfortable.
Before we are deep in a singular rut:
We are encouraged to pay attention to:
Scale, scrutiny of detail and magnitude of magnification
And then be prepared to acknowledge:
Perspective
Holding space for all this is a trio of young women:
P-I-P
Patience-Insistence-Perseverance
When they are actively engaged in the process and are working together more significant work happens.
_______________________________________________________________________________
This is just an attempt to describe a possibility of vision.
A friend i haven't connected with in a while and just "friend"ed on Facebook asked:
"But it sounds like you are more interested in creating a change in our social structure that would create a larger network for everyone to be able to care for their loved ones with greater ease... yes? or is your baking for a year a brainstorming feast extravaganza with no particular framework just an open palette for creativity to blossom and who knows what the end result will be. hmmm."
Another important element that needs to cellophane wrap the above is the concept of
both/and.
i am swimming in some rough seas at the moment. Sharing this is..... well so many things. More later.
i am going to clean the kitchen floor and even move the stove out and get back there!
So many good distractions!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Prepping for a new video intro promo!
After the soft launch of the indiegogo campaign,
http://www.indiegogo.com/Having-My-Cake-and-Sharing-It-Too last week, i have been trying to figure out how to get the Day of the Dead Ritual intro promo to show up. Luckily dear Andy Trull managed to talk me through it and it is finally up there. Here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDJZdfV8xtQ
Now we are planning the hard launch with the mass emailing and get it out there energy. Having gotten three funders in the first couple days is so awesome. Now we have to get the momentum going.
i have spent most of the morning musing over and writing down fun ideas and then trying to figure out what to not do right now. Going to limit the length of the videos to about 2:30 min. Just make more of them!
The cake from last night turned out so nicely! It has a lovely decorative chocolate glaze that was made with Vegan Chocolate Chips, some Earth Balance but when i added the almond flavor and vanilla it seized and so i added some of the homemade Almond Milk and everything smoothed out fine.
Planning on going over and dropping it off somewhere..... Maybe The Community Acupuncture Clinic!
There is a new concern in the West Philly Neighborhood. Black Cat Baking West Philadelphia (on FB) and they are trying out some of their recipes, doing market research and all. Looks Yummy! Exciting to know of so many other bakers around and about.
Morgan's friend Madeline from Missoula Oblongata was in town visiting for a couple days of rehearsal and she got all excited about the Year of Living Audaciously. So i hope i can follow up on her invitation to come visit and bake and have healthcare conversations in a small town outside of Athens, OH.
More later!
http://www.indiegogo.com/Having-My-Cake-and-Sharing-It-Too last week, i have been trying to figure out how to get the Day of the Dead Ritual intro promo to show up. Luckily dear Andy Trull managed to talk me through it and it is finally up there. Here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDJZdfV8xtQ
Now we are planning the hard launch with the mass emailing and get it out there energy. Having gotten three funders in the first couple days is so awesome. Now we have to get the momentum going.
i have spent most of the morning musing over and writing down fun ideas and then trying to figure out what to not do right now. Going to limit the length of the videos to about 2:30 min. Just make more of them!
The cake from last night turned out so nicely! It has a lovely decorative chocolate glaze that was made with Vegan Chocolate Chips, some Earth Balance but when i added the almond flavor and vanilla it seized and so i added some of the homemade Almond Milk and everything smoothed out fine.
Planning on going over and dropping it off somewhere..... Maybe The Community Acupuncture Clinic!
There is a new concern in the West Philly Neighborhood. Black Cat Baking West Philadelphia (on FB) and they are trying out some of their recipes, doing market research and all. Looks Yummy! Exciting to know of so many other bakers around and about.
Morgan's friend Madeline from Missoula Oblongata was in town visiting for a couple days of rehearsal and she got all excited about the Year of Living Audaciously. So i hope i can follow up on her invitation to come visit and bake and have healthcare conversations in a small town outside of Athens, OH.
More later!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
First Recipe Post!
Baking at the moment a variation on
ENER-G Egg-Free Victoria Sponge Cake:
2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup brown sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon Ener-G Egg Replacer
1/4 cup plus 1/2 tablespoon shortening
1-1/3 cup water
Flavoring of your choice
My version:
2 cups All purpose flour
1 cup white sugar + some molasses
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon Ener-G Egg replacer
a couple tablespoons almond milk pulp
a small pour of olive oil
1-1/3 cup almond milk
Almond extract and Vanilla
mix the first five ingredients except molasses
Then mix in the oil and molasses and then the flavoring and milkd.
Stir for 2 minutes. pour into greased round bowl pan and dot liberally with chocolate chips!
preheated oven to 375. for 30 minutes or so.
Baking at Morgan's house. Keeping it Vegan for him!
ENER-G Egg-Free Victoria Sponge Cake:
2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup brown sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon Ener-G Egg Replacer
1/4 cup plus 1/2 tablespoon shortening
1-1/3 cup water
Flavoring of your choice
My version:
2 cups All purpose flour
1 cup white sugar + some molasses
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon Ener-G Egg replacer
a couple tablespoons almond milk pulp
a small pour of olive oil
1-1/3 cup almond milk
Almond extract and Vanilla
mix the first five ingredients except molasses
Then mix in the oil and molasses and then the flavoring and milkd.
Stir for 2 minutes. pour into greased round bowl pan and dot liberally with chocolate chips!
preheated oven to 375. for 30 minutes or so.
Baking at Morgan's house. Keeping it Vegan for him!
Friday, November 4, 2011
Occupy Wall Street....
So besides getting to ride the Bus up to NYC with Pete Tridish and getting to meet a lovely young person Julian who asked me about my knitting as i waited for Cara Jennings to materialize. And getting to improvise a Birthday Pinata out of cardboard boxes and streamers and getting to dress up Audacious Year for Cara and her own birthdays. Besides all this it was fascinating to be at OWS. The chaos is amazing and i still find the Mike Check business not the easiest method for me to understand. There is a diversities of peoples at OWS that only a big immigrant, visitor megapolis can turn out. That said what i saw and heard was both inspiring and tragic. There were two marches that happened while we were building the pinata and dressing the cake. The first one was a mostly silent march with signs about sexual assault and responsibility and not being silent and so forth. There were every once in a while a chant and more frequently a single voice entreaty to "Join the Rape March!" At maybe the 3rd round of the block it became clearer that the march was aimed at OWS itself and that a sexual assault had happened within the Occupy space itself.
And then the other March was a more boisterous affair with much yelling to "JOIN THE MARCH!!" and after they has circled the Park a few times, we asked someone what that was about and we told that they thought it was in support of the Food committee because the General Assembly hadn't provided enough money for food needs.
The third more fun and funny happening was the French Aristocrats looking for Cake to distribute. We (as in Cara very graciously) ended up providing the Audacious Year Cake that i had baked for her birthday (it was suppose to be a Pre-Occupied Cake) and we had decorated. It was pretty fun watching the dressed up folks play there part and distribute the bounty of the day...
Can't wait to hear about how the pinata smashing went!
And then the other March was a more boisterous affair with much yelling to "JOIN THE MARCH!!" and after they has circled the Park a few times, we asked someone what that was about and we told that they thought it was in support of the Food committee because the General Assembly hadn't provided enough money for food needs.
The third more fun and funny happening was the French Aristocrats looking for Cake to distribute. We (as in Cara very graciously) ended up providing the Audacious Year Cake that i had baked for her birthday (it was suppose to be a Pre-Occupied Cake) and we had decorated. It was pretty fun watching the dressed up folks play there part and distribute the bounty of the day...
Can't wait to hear about how the pinata smashing went!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
After the Day of the Dead/First day of official Year Of Living Audaciously
Well, having a "smart" Phone of some kind would have been fun so i could have posted as things progressed. It was an incredible diversity of people and souls who coursed through the altar space and even more who just brushed past.
Last night i managed to close the ritual with the help of several folks not all whose names i remember. There was the R2K Legal Defendant who now has had a kid and they just happened to be there to help. And the lady whose name escapes me who sells her stuff, on the wall by the parking lot, from her Dead Mother's house and Marquis who has been so amazing in coming and hanging out and being a wonderful anchor for things. After we closed the circle and broke down the altar and tent and got everything inside, i went upstairs to clean up in the kitchen which was very full of the detritus of Morgan's huge contribution to the Ritual and luckily Morgan came home from the Yoga studio and encouraged me to go to bed.
This morning after my wake up routine, i happen to glance out the window to look at the cleared space and i notice that the back of my Dad's car is open which means all the doors are unlocked! i throw on some close and run down there and everything is fine. Nothing missing, the car starts the first try. And i listen to the radio for a few minutes a station that plays music from the 3-'s and 40's.
i have to get out the door and over to Caleb's to start baking today's cake for Cara Jennings Birthday, she is arriving in NYC via Amtrak from Florida to have her party at OWS and i want to bring her a "pre"-Occupy Cake. Cuz Cara is one of the fine examples of someone who has been occupied with Social Change and Creative Social Endeavor for most of her life. More later!
Last night i managed to close the ritual with the help of several folks not all whose names i remember. There was the R2K Legal Defendant who now has had a kid and they just happened to be there to help. And the lady whose name escapes me who sells her stuff, on the wall by the parking lot, from her Dead Mother's house and Marquis who has been so amazing in coming and hanging out and being a wonderful anchor for things. After we closed the circle and broke down the altar and tent and got everything inside, i went upstairs to clean up in the kitchen which was very full of the detritus of Morgan's huge contribution to the Ritual and luckily Morgan came home from the Yoga studio and encouraged me to go to bed.
This morning after my wake up routine, i happen to glance out the window to look at the cleared space and i notice that the back of my Dad's car is open which means all the doors are unlocked! i throw on some close and run down there and everything is fine. Nothing missing, the car starts the first try. And i listen to the radio for a few minutes a station that plays music from the 3-'s and 40's.
i have to get out the door and over to Caleb's to start baking today's cake for Cara Jennings Birthday, she is arriving in NYC via Amtrak from Florida to have her party at OWS and i want to bring her a "pre"-Occupy Cake. Cuz Cara is one of the fine examples of someone who has been occupied with Social Change and Creative Social Endeavor for most of her life. More later!
Monday, October 31, 2011
All Hallow's Eve Day
i posted an update on the IndiegogoAudacious Year/Having My Cake and Sharing It Too and i was treating it like a blog. So i stopped and quickly went to practice transferring monies from Paypal to my bank account so i could go out and get supplies and saw that it can take up to 3-4 days for funds to be available.
Does anyone else remember the advent of electronic banking and e-checks and all that jazz?? When we were told/sold on how secure and easy and fast everything would be once we learned the details of the electronic wonders of going cashless and paperless??? Why is it that the money is GONE from my account prety much instantly in this system but there is still a lag of days for it to appear? The days the money spends in limbo land is when it all gets used by the corporate powers that be to combine these relatively small sums from these individual transactions and wheel and deal with them covering their cash flow problems while depriving us access to our monies. GRRRRR!!!!!
So i am SOSOSOSOSOSO SO OH so thankful for the people and the direct action of caring. The abundance, excess, barter and gift economies. i was able to bake last night because of a donation from Bex. He is moving from a house into a couple of rooms in a shared boarding room style house. And Bex donated what ended up being alot of stuff. Including Chef Josef (trader Joes's) Brand Coffee Cake mix (which happens to be vegan) and flour and sugar and carob powder and salt and other good stuff! i was able to bake up a storm last night in prep for tonight and i was such a calming experience.
Ok i have to go and pick up Sheep Shaped Muffin Tins from Jakey! Will post photos of the cakes a bit later and also hopefully images of the flyers i made yesterday for tonight!
Does anyone else remember the advent of electronic banking and e-checks and all that jazz?? When we were told/sold on how secure and easy and fast everything would be once we learned the details of the electronic wonders of going cashless and paperless??? Why is it that the money is GONE from my account prety much instantly in this system but there is still a lag of days for it to appear? The days the money spends in limbo land is when it all gets used by the corporate powers that be to combine these relatively small sums from these individual transactions and wheel and deal with them covering their cash flow problems while depriving us access to our monies. GRRRRR!!!!!
So i am SOSOSOSOSOSO SO OH so thankful for the people and the direct action of caring. The abundance, excess, barter and gift economies. i was able to bake last night because of a donation from Bex. He is moving from a house into a couple of rooms in a shared boarding room style house. And Bex donated what ended up being alot of stuff. Including Chef Josef (trader Joes's) Brand Coffee Cake mix (which happens to be vegan) and flour and sugar and carob powder and salt and other good stuff! i was able to bake up a storm last night in prep for tonight and i was such a calming experience.
Ok i have to go and pick up Sheep Shaped Muffin Tins from Jakey! Will post photos of the cakes a bit later and also hopefully images of the flyers i made yesterday for tonight!
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Soft launch successful w/out video!
So it is done! Gave up for the moment on waiting for the video and slapped an image in there and pressed "Go Live!" and voila! Within minutes, someone had made a donation! It was crossed posted to Facebook and a friend saw it and the barrier was broken. let it keep coming in. Thanks friend!!! for the support! i need to back away slowly from the computer and put some warm layers on and GET OUTSIDE and PLAY IN THE SNOW!
So go and take a look at http://www.indiegogo.com/Having-My-Cake-and-Sharing-It-Too
Maybe i'll be up to going to a party?
So remember to:
Decolonize the Occupation!
Smash The State
Dismantle The Patriarchy!
Challenge All Forms Of Oppression!
AND BAKE SOME CAKE!
So go and take a look at http://www.indiegogo.com/Having-My-Cake-and-Sharing-It-Too
Maybe i'll be up to going to a party?
So remember to:
Decolonize the Occupation!
Smash The State
Dismantle The Patriarchy!
Challenge All Forms Of Oppression!
AND BAKE SOME CAKE!
Waiting is a trial
So as the world waits impatiently for YouTube to do what ever it has to the video to make it accessible.... time slowly slinks by.
i went to a Moving Out party last night hosted by someone i met last June at the Trans Health Conference. They were at the time in a relationship with a friend of mine. (Learned last night that that has ended.) Bex is leaving their house of the last year with a lot of sore, sour, burnt and burdened feelings. They invited friends over to celebrate and to burn our troubles away in a backyard fire. i had thought i was just going to go and make a social appearance but i needed this too. Some of the guests threw in the whole year 2011 several times. Along with their bosses and jobs and other constraining circumstances. Wendy who was the most active participant at first eventually explain her approach was BURN ANYTHING that you are having problems with! Not to rid yourself of them per se but to transform them and free them from their current bound situation. HA!
That was a nice invitation!
So i added Reluctance, Hesitancy, one geared towards my Lover/friends the wording which i presently can't conjure back up, Family, and one more.....hmmm.... These are things that i want to see transformed, released from their current stuck bound place in my life. We made it even more special with Sparklers and by adding the dried up boughs of Bex' x-mas tree from last year for lots of snap-crackle-pop. Bex is finishing up the ritual in a special private way. So mote it be. Thanks Bex!
And we had grilled cheese sandwiches, and roasted red pepper soup and mini-wafer cookies(stroopwafels) and fauncy chocolate covered cookies from Trader Joe's. Well into the evening another friend of Bex' showed up, in the midst of our burnings, and Mason turns out to be co-workers with Morgan at the Attic Youth Center. so nice to have the circle be revealed.
Still waiting for the video to be available..... Maybe i need to upload it again....
i went to a Moving Out party last night hosted by someone i met last June at the Trans Health Conference. They were at the time in a relationship with a friend of mine. (Learned last night that that has ended.) Bex is leaving their house of the last year with a lot of sore, sour, burnt and burdened feelings. They invited friends over to celebrate and to burn our troubles away in a backyard fire. i had thought i was just going to go and make a social appearance but i needed this too. Some of the guests threw in the whole year 2011 several times. Along with their bosses and jobs and other constraining circumstances. Wendy who was the most active participant at first eventually explain her approach was BURN ANYTHING that you are having problems with! Not to rid yourself of them per se but to transform them and free them from their current bound situation. HA!
That was a nice invitation!
So i added Reluctance, Hesitancy, one geared towards my Lover/friends the wording which i presently can't conjure back up, Family, and one more.....hmmm.... These are things that i want to see transformed, released from their current stuck bound place in my life. We made it even more special with Sparklers and by adding the dried up boughs of Bex' x-mas tree from last year for lots of snap-crackle-pop. Bex is finishing up the ritual in a special private way. So mote it be. Thanks Bex!
And we had grilled cheese sandwiches, and roasted red pepper soup and mini-wafer cookies(stroopwafels) and fauncy chocolate covered cookies from Trader Joe's. Well into the evening another friend of Bex' showed up, in the midst of our burnings, and Mason turns out to be co-workers with Morgan at the Attic Youth Center. so nice to have the circle be revealed.
Still waiting for the video to be available..... Maybe i need to upload it again....
Friday, October 28, 2011
Pin-Up Girl to make her Video Debut!
i made a video today as an intro for the indiegogo campaign! It is in the uploading process at YouTube. And so once that happens i can attach it to the Indiegogo site and we are ready to Go Live!
It took 23 takes before i had something i could work with. i incorporated The Pin-Up Girl Cake Pan into the mix. She did very well! A natural!
So hopefully a bit later tonight i can relax a bit and have a bit of fun and then continue with all the rest of the preparations.
Morgan has been a peach and great help. More later.
It took 23 takes before i had something i could work with. i incorporated The Pin-Up Girl Cake Pan into the mix. She did very well! A natural!
So hopefully a bit later tonight i can relax a bit and have a bit of fun and then continue with all the rest of the preparations.
Morgan has been a peach and great help. More later.
Day Of The Dead Ritual!
There will be a Day Of the Dead Ritual on Baltimore Avenue between 47th and 48th Sts beginning All Hallow's Eve, October 31st, at sunset and continuing through to sunset on the Day of the Dead, November 2nd.
There will be an altar to hold offerings. Please bring somthing to place on the altar for your Dead, to honor your Ansestors to celebrate thier lives and your ability to celebrate with them.
Offerings of cake are appreciated. Other kinds of edible treats are also welcome.
There will be an altar to hold offerings. Please bring somthing to place on the altar for your Dead, to honor your Ansestors to celebrate thier lives and your ability to celebrate with them.
Offerings of cake are appreciated. Other kinds of edible treats are also welcome.
Don't name it until you taste it.
This advice is part of a story that Cara Jennings told me about her cooking strategy. That when you are cooking something up and are either not the best cook or haven't made the dish before, you don't tell folks what it is. You wait until they are eating it and ask them to name it.
i have tried to apply that advice to other situations. People expriencing something for the first time only have their fantasitical preconcieved notions to prepare themselves for it. So why not remove some of the preasure from everybody and give them more opportunity to actually engage in the moment and discover for themselves what the experience is?
So my expectations of what things will be also need to be checked and i need to let things be discovered as things reveal themselves. The challenges of doing these things (Indiegogo campaign, blog, creating a care group, making a 48 hr baking ritual happen etc) is also the exciting journey of discovering the moment. Learn from them, appreciate them, incorporate them in the being aware of the doing of them.
i, let alone anyone else, have never seen a 48 hr Day of the Dead Cake Baking Ritual on Balitmore Ave before. So we will all discover what that looks like as it all unfolds.
i have tried to apply that advice to other situations. People expriencing something for the first time only have their fantasitical preconcieved notions to prepare themselves for it. So why not remove some of the preasure from everybody and give them more opportunity to actually engage in the moment and discover for themselves what the experience is?
So my expectations of what things will be also need to be checked and i need to let things be discovered as things reveal themselves. The challenges of doing these things (Indiegogo campaign, blog, creating a care group, making a 48 hr baking ritual happen etc) is also the exciting journey of discovering the moment. Learn from them, appreciate them, incorporate them in the being aware of the doing of them.
i, let alone anyone else, have never seen a 48 hr Day of the Dead Cake Baking Ritual on Balitmore Ave before. So we will all discover what that looks like as it all unfolds.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
the struggle lingers on...
So after 5 hrs of tinkering and cutting and pasting and coming up with Exciting names for the Perks and adjusting budgets.... i go and save all this work on Indiegogo and it Errors. All gone.
So much for an easy soft launch today. All the good commisserating from folks and the advice to "do the work in a word program" are all well and good. It takes a while to develop the descipline of online writing.
Should i be doing that right now?
i am working away at reconstructing what i can remember and making up the rest. Maybe later tonight.
It is good to know Brad Will is close by. i miss him dearly. For all his needs and desires for street action, he was always up for some cake. Figuring out wild and strange, unexpected and provocative methods to get into people's hearts and minds and bodies was one of his specialties. He is with me in this fight and pleasurestruggle.
So much for an easy soft launch today. All the good commisserating from folks and the advice to "do the work in a word program" are all well and good. It takes a while to develop the descipline of online writing.
Should i be doing that right now?
i am working away at reconstructing what i can remember and making up the rest. Maybe later tonight.
It is good to know Brad Will is close by. i miss him dearly. For all his needs and desires for street action, he was always up for some cake. Figuring out wild and strange, unexpected and provocative methods to get into people's hearts and minds and bodies was one of his specialties. He is with me in this fight and pleasurestruggle.
So Soft Launch Sometime Today.
There will be a soft launch of the Indiegogo Fundraising campaign today. Hopefully within the next hour or so.
Yes money, funding is an aspect of putting myself out there audaciously this year. It makes me REAL CRANKY. Mostly because of all the (to me) awkward and troubling hoops i have needed to jump through to get it all this far. i spent years making the personal pitch, face to face, and then adjusting the project to my ability to make it happen. This is a much more complicated and complex affair. i hope i honor my own past experience and have made those traces visible and intrigueing.
Will post again when we are launched.
Blessed Be, Divinely Doo-doo.
Yes money, funding is an aspect of putting myself out there audaciously this year. It makes me REAL CRANKY. Mostly because of all the (to me) awkward and troubling hoops i have needed to jump through to get it all this far. i spent years making the personal pitch, face to face, and then adjusting the project to my ability to make it happen. This is a much more complicated and complex affair. i hope i honor my own past experience and have made those traces visible and intrigueing.
Will post again when we are launched.
Blessed Be, Divinely Doo-doo.
Big day!
Blogs are dangerous and crazy. That said, i should try and embrace that sentiment. The focus and work i have been putting into so many things seems to be counterproductive. At least it seems to me at the moment. My great and grand "blah blah blah" of community and care seems trite to me and empty when i am so grind stone nose shaving. Even after i have tried so hard, in myriad ways to open this up and include others in the process. Ask for assistance and others perspectives. i still feel so dang alone in this. It sucks.
Just plain sucks. i try to convince myself that this is just a typical period when creative vision blinds one and at the same time leads one forward. This too is not what i wanted. No siree bob.
Is it so scary? Am i so scary? Scary in the audacity? Scary in the complicatedness and complexity? Of the seeming chaos? My definition of CHAOS is: Chaos is not disorder, it is one's inability to percieve the order.
i am often called crazy. What is attached to that label varies. There is an old adage something like: To be crazy in an insane world is healthy. There are probably several variations on that one.
Well yes for most of my life i have been working towards a world, a culture, a cosmology in which i was me; in which i am able to be and thrive and rejoice at it all with everybody else being able to do that too.
It is crazy in a world in which violence of great variation and scale is embrace not only as outward tools of LAW & ORDER but also as tools of liberation. i mean this beyond the "us" (the good guys) vs "them" (the bad guys) but also the violence we allow ourselves to tolerate towards each other in the "us" (the good guys) while we confront the "them" (the bad guys).
As a counter to the "us" vs "them" i have been offering "we". "We"ing is the process of recognizing oneself as part of something larger without that having to exclude anyone else.
"Us & Them"ing is a consequence of objectification. One does not only objectify the Other but also one's self. Objectification is the process of turning a person, or group into an object, thing, inert and dead. Something that can be manipulated and bought and sold, judged and dismissed, but aside or used for one's own purpose. It does not have to be considered beyond what can "it" do for me? How can "I" use "it"?
The concept of an "us" as an "it" becomes clearer when one thinks about privilege, especially the ones that are not so easily identified. The "us" of white people; the "us" of ablebodied people; the "us" of relatively more money/power people; the "us" of the "in the moment" cool people; the "us" of the advocate for the little people; etc. One can use the objectifying look at one's own self identity to 'move and shake' and use that place to get what one needs without respecting the "other" let alone one's own innate subjective self.
______________________
This is not what i started out to write. HA! Another aspect of blogs is their ability to allow one to go places unexpected. What i did want to write about was the plan to do a soft launch of the Indiegogo Campaign today. Waiting around any longer to get input/feedback from other folks in the "Reply All"/Care group is not worth it. What there is and how it is is just going to have to be good enough for now. Maybe someone who reads this can give some feed back!
Just plain sucks. i try to convince myself that this is just a typical period when creative vision blinds one and at the same time leads one forward. This too is not what i wanted. No siree bob.
Is it so scary? Am i so scary? Scary in the audacity? Scary in the complicatedness and complexity? Of the seeming chaos? My definition of CHAOS is: Chaos is not disorder, it is one's inability to percieve the order.
i am often called crazy. What is attached to that label varies. There is an old adage something like: To be crazy in an insane world is healthy. There are probably several variations on that one.
Well yes for most of my life i have been working towards a world, a culture, a cosmology in which i was me; in which i am able to be and thrive and rejoice at it all with everybody else being able to do that too.
It is crazy in a world in which violence of great variation and scale is embrace not only as outward tools of LAW & ORDER but also as tools of liberation. i mean this beyond the "us" (the good guys) vs "them" (the bad guys) but also the violence we allow ourselves to tolerate towards each other in the "us" (the good guys) while we confront the "them" (the bad guys).
As a counter to the "us" vs "them" i have been offering "we". "We"ing is the process of recognizing oneself as part of something larger without that having to exclude anyone else.
"Us & Them"ing is a consequence of objectification. One does not only objectify the Other but also one's self. Objectification is the process of turning a person, or group into an object, thing, inert and dead. Something that can be manipulated and bought and sold, judged and dismissed, but aside or used for one's own purpose. It does not have to be considered beyond what can "it" do for me? How can "I" use "it"?
The concept of an "us" as an "it" becomes clearer when one thinks about privilege, especially the ones that are not so easily identified. The "us" of white people; the "us" of ablebodied people; the "us" of relatively more money/power people; the "us" of the "in the moment" cool people; the "us" of the advocate for the little people; etc. One can use the objectifying look at one's own self identity to 'move and shake' and use that place to get what one needs without respecting the "other" let alone one's own innate subjective self.
______________________
This is not what i started out to write. HA! Another aspect of blogs is their ability to allow one to go places unexpected. What i did want to write about was the plan to do a soft launch of the Indiegogo Campaign today. Waiting around any longer to get input/feedback from other folks in the "Reply All"/Care group is not worth it. What there is and how it is is just going to have to be good enough for now. Maybe someone who reads this can give some feed back!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Vocabulary and Concepts
It has been pointed out that i often use specific words or concepts in ways people are not familiar. So i am going to try and collect them here to aid readers in their quest to enjoy and participate in this Audacious Year.
We-ing: The process of becoming aware of a sense of community that doesn't create an Us/them dichotomy.
compartmentalization: In the negative sense it means creating a place for parts of ourselves that are hidden and secreted away (sort of like being in the closet) that is actually very important about how one makes their way through the world;
in the positive sense it mean things are arranged so that things are in their appropriate places.
Complicated/Complex: Ben Emmerick offered this articulation of the two similar words- Complicated is the number of elements in a system; Complex is the number of relationships between the elements in a system. If this intrigues you please investigate the School For Designing A Society http://www.designingsociety.org/
permaculture:
natural building:
Social Permaculture:
Natural Community Building:
Nacre: i am using the term nacre to describe how we take irritants and let them be covered, layered over inside oursleves as an Oyster coats an irritant in its shell to eventually produce a pearl. We nacre over many things to keep them from bothering us and eventually we produce our "pearls" of suffering. i want to be able to make this a bit more concious of a process. Identify the irritants and decide whether they need to be removed or used for some beautifying purposes. It is how we often don't know or remember where our "pearls" of beautiful suffering came from and they eventually start to choke us. Or we try to pawn them off as prescious family heirlooms.
Filter/Net:
We-ing: The process of becoming aware of a sense of community that doesn't create an Us/them dichotomy.
compartmentalization: In the negative sense it means creating a place for parts of ourselves that are hidden and secreted away (sort of like being in the closet) that is actually very important about how one makes their way through the world;
in the positive sense it mean things are arranged so that things are in their appropriate places.
Complicated/Complex: Ben Emmerick offered this articulation of the two similar words- Complicated is the number of elements in a system; Complex is the number of relationships between the elements in a system. If this intrigues you please investigate the School For Designing A Society http://www.designingsociety.org/
permaculture:
natural building:
Social Permaculture:
Natural Community Building:
Nacre: i am using the term nacre to describe how we take irritants and let them be covered, layered over inside oursleves as an Oyster coats an irritant in its shell to eventually produce a pearl. We nacre over many things to keep them from bothering us and eventually we produce our "pearls" of suffering. i want to be able to make this a bit more concious of a process. Identify the irritants and decide whether they need to be removed or used for some beautifying purposes. It is how we often don't know or remember where our "pearls" of beautiful suffering came from and they eventually start to choke us. Or we try to pawn them off as prescious family heirlooms.
Filter/Net:
Friday, October 21, 2011
Shine a little light!
When i run into the darkness, shine a little light, so i know where you are.
when i sing from the darkness, shine a little light, so i know where you are.
When i am silent in the darkness, shine a little light, so i know that you are there,
When i scream in the darkness, shine a little light, so i know you have heard.
When i return from the darkness, let me tell you the stories of dancing fireflies in the gardens.
When i return from the darkness, let me tease you with stories about how the stars came to be my guides.
when i sing from the darkness, shine a little light, so i know where you are.
When i am silent in the darkness, shine a little light, so i know that you are there,
When i scream in the darkness, shine a little light, so i know you have heard.
When i return from the darkness, let me tell you the stories of dancing fireflies in the gardens.
When i return from the darkness, let me tease you with stories about how the stars came to be my guides.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Success...
So this morning i wake up and realize that i need to be clearer about a shift.
That for me to be successful in inspiring others in creating a world in which i want to live i have to find ways to be seen, ligitimate, real in the current world. That means i have to figure out how to be a success in this current world that doesn't compromise or limit the potential for this other worls which i want to be.
That also means inspiring others to (in what ever way) explore and engage inthe process of articulating the world they want to be a part of.
A lot of this transformational process involves recognizing the parts and patterns in the current world that support us; create an identity for us; recognize us; empower us.... that just might not be the best tools for getting through and to a place that is ultimately more interesting and fun.
How do we learn to give up something that has been working (well or poorly)?
How do we learn to try new ways?
There is a lot more to share about this as we go along.
i need to fugure out how to be a success in the current paradigm that uncovers, reveals other possibilities and option for creating the world i want to be a part of.
That for me to be successful in inspiring others in creating a world in which i want to live i have to find ways to be seen, ligitimate, real in the current world. That means i have to figure out how to be a success in this current world that doesn't compromise or limit the potential for this other worls which i want to be.
That also means inspiring others to (in what ever way) explore and engage inthe process of articulating the world they want to be a part of.
A lot of this transformational process involves recognizing the parts and patterns in the current world that support us; create an identity for us; recognize us; empower us.... that just might not be the best tools for getting through and to a place that is ultimately more interesting and fun.
How do we learn to give up something that has been working (well or poorly)?
How do we learn to try new ways?
There is a lot more to share about this as we go along.
i need to fugure out how to be a success in the current paradigm that uncovers, reveals other possibilities and option for creating the world i want to be a part of.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Sept 17th Steps Forth
Sent: Tuesday, September 27, 2011 10:38 PM
Subject: Steps forth...
Dear all,Subject: Steps forth...
So it has been about 3 months since i sent out the Dignity and Grace missive. i really need to just accept the idea of linear time as a tool to be used when appropriate.
Some of you have been bumping into me and jostling me through this period. i am very greatful for that. More of that would be welcome (and other things too) because it continues the process of helping me locate myself in these very new senses of self and place.
Presently i am sitting in back of Sandi Ford's house in
i have so far made it to
Along the way i have been testing the language i am using to describe the next year's work. It has been..... good.
You all have been witness to much (in bits and pieces) of the challenges i have faced this past year.
As i figure out how to honor this past year and move forward i hope to be more engaging and hopeful!
So here is my current vision for the next year or so. The three project in many ways are meant to balance each other and create some synergy.
i would appreciate your thoughts and insights, comments and concerns, etc.
Andy, who lives up in Ontario, where i spent a month this summer, probably has the best (? a better?) feel for these projects because it was through his efforts i managed to make it through some serious junk during my time up there. i hope he gets the gumption up to click REPLY ALL to share his perspective.
So the three projects for this next year more or less are:
Family Healthcare Crisis Conversations-
Using the notes, handouts, forms and other detritus from my Dad's initial illness, surgery, rehabilitations, dying process and ultimate death as fodder, i want to facilitate conversations to identify potential tools for people who find themselves and their families in the midst of Healthcare Crisis. There are quite of few resources for planning a Major Healthcare Event (crisis) and others for recovering/healing from Healthcare Crisis but surprisingly few for when one is thrust into it without preparation.
Starting with the people (this includes you all) who have been aware and supportive during this period because you are familiar with my particulars and then slowly increasing the circle of participants, i hope to mark a trail that others can follow and create guidance points and directions through the mass of info. Andy pointed out that i was making myself sick in chewing over this cud and that by inviting others to browse through that they might be better able to digest it and extract the good stuff. i created several tools in the midst of this all, that the Professional Healthcare Providers recognized as powerful and lacking. There are probably many more to be found. At some point my anger will transmute and then i will be able to engage the Professional Healthcare Providers and involve them in honing the identified tools and finding ways to put them into practice.
When i was up in
-------
Puzzlement-
Creating a participatory, collaborative puzzle making methodology, sort of a multi-layered, intention filled Exquisite Corpse Puzzle. Guiding a group of people or members of an organization through a series of creative exercises to find a collective experiential visual vocabulary that gets worked into a finished product (puzzle). The puzzle then can be used as a way to share the group's or organization's mission and purpose and also be used as a fundraising product.
Andy shared with me that he is tired of my surviving off of odd jobs and that i need to create a way to sustain myself well by what i do well. Puzzlement draws upon my traveling workshop experiences and weaves it with my Mental Health Handicraft skills. We see this taking 2 or 3 years of fostering before it will be able to fully support me.
---------
Having My Cake and Sharing It Too-
Baking a cake everyday for a year. Having had little control over my food intake this last year, i want to engage others in the act of food preparing, daily celebration of life, negotiating emotional and nutritional needs, the food scarcity/abundance discussion, transformative power of intentional food love and more. Part blog, part documentation of consumption/celebration, part act of discipline, part whimsy and mostly a way to reach beyond the comfort of comfort food and challenge myself to complete each step of the next year.
i have over the years, baked many many cakes, often as part of public events. From time to time i have made them into participatory events by offering the cakes (usually Character shaped Cakes) to be decorated with various instructions. FX: at Queeruption 99 in NYC i baked 4 or 5 cakes and then instructed the hungry mob to decorate them as their favorite Intergalactic Transgender Warrior. Fun Mayhem Ensued; at Maynooth Pride (Canada's smallest Pride Celebration) in July, i baked a Barbie Cake and explained that Barbie was actually an Inter-dimensional Being who came here sometime ago and had been captured and enslaved by the hetero-normative, gender binary Powers That Be to do their nefarious bidding but that she longs to be free and we must help her by embuing her image with all our most Wonderful Super Powers so that she can break free from her bonds and come and play with us. That was fun. i have started again to collect Character and fun shaped pans. These and my baking skills will be a starting point for a very interesting adventure.
In addition, there is this idea floating, dangling, teasing of doing a kick-off marathon baking event for Day of the Dead through All Saints' Day. 48 hrs of baking cakes for the dead. Besides my Dad's death i have had 8 other deaths, excluding the pets in the last 10 months. This could be REALLY cathartic for me and others. So if you have any ideas about where and any interest or know of any others who would like to join in the baking let me know.
From the 17th Oct. Unthwarting the package
Contents:
1: Intro:
2: Family Healthcare Crisis Conversation
3. Having My Cake & Sharing It Too
4. Puzzlement Laboratory
5. The Year Of Living Audaciously- Indiegogo Fundraiser
Dear All of you,
Being in this cluster of people who have been a part of this Care Group (Caleb-and by extension Carlos and Calder-, Morgan, Albo, Joy and Sara Valentine) and other people who know me in Philly has been a good thing.
One of the things that has become clearer is the need to let you all know that what i am going through is a good thing. My letting myself experience all that is there, no matter how terrible it might seem to all of you and even to myself, it is worth it. It is my work.
Where i am struggling is how to make it more accessible to others and how to make what i am doing an invitation for active and transparent participation. The 3 projects are attempts at just that.
i can talk to myself all day (and i do) and dialogue with others til the cows come home but how to leave a better trace, trail, map?
A month or two ago, i texted myself: “It isn’t that we are doing things totally wrong, it’s that we aren’t doing enough things right.” i then texted a few minutes later “May all your mistakes be worth it.”
i have been thinking about the first text and now would say maybe- the things that we are doing “right” are lonely and scared. They don’t have friends to hang with and support each other. There isn’t a critical mass of them and that “right” things don’t actually all look the same as each other. “Wrongs” have a herding mentality in which they all jockey for position.
How do we support and encourage the “rights” so that they can be recognized and find each other to work together?
So chew on that while i continue.
i am, each day, better at articulating what it is i am doing. It is not the easier thing to do.
So some clearing up.
Family Healthcare Conversation:
The first stage of this conversing is for me to process the mountain of angers and frustrations i am carrying around. i am not in the place I want to be yet to share all the stuff, good, bad and beyond with the larger world. i really need you all to speak up and help make these conversations happen. i need to offer some sense of my travel plans so that you all can say what works for you time wise.
In response to Kathy’s queries, i want to remain as actively passive in the process as possible. Offering the materials, as openly as possible, that allows your curiosities to guide the process. i don’t want to clutch onto what happened in the conversation in Killaloe and use that as THE model for proceeding. i want the process to be such that you all can engage and i can respond and monitor my feelings and interest in your responses.
In the conversations i have had about Family Healthcare Crisis that just happen, it is startling how quickly i end up ranting and tearing myself apart. In the Killaloe set up, that didn’t happen. So Kathy, that would be some “good stuff.”
One of the things i think is important is the process of separating “my shit” from “other’s shit”. This is where and when i need others’ perspectives who know me so that the shit of my family dynamics, the shit of the Medical Healthcare Establishment, the shit of this sometimes shitty world and my own shit can be teased apart and the delicate and intricate connections be revealed.
It is so easy to take a cleaver to these things and just “get the job done.”
i feel that quite quickly the more practical offers in Kathy’s queries will be able to be responded to.
Having My Cake & Sharing It Too:
So a week from tonight i am starting to bake for a 48 hr marathon- From sundown on All Hallow’s Eve through All Saints Day to sunset on All Souls Day /Day of the Dead.
There is a FB Event set up and several people have already come forward to help with set up, baking and getting supplies. There is still lots to do.
This event is the kick off for the year of daily cake baking. Since 2012 is a leap year that is 366 days of baking cakes AND having the attendant conversations around it.
i am going to have a blog specifically for the Cake Baking. (Thanks Morgan for the encouragement and guidance.)
The Puzzlement Laboratory
Note the additional language. In conversation with Andy today, we kind of worked out that The Puzzlement Laboratory is a reworking of pleasurestruggle. Andy shared that he has no interest in me using my time, talents and energies in running an organization or doing payroll.
The Puzzlement Laboratory will eventually be a physical space, a workshop/workplace with shelves and cupboards to store projects and a worktable and adequate lighting. This is something i made clear up in Canada
The participatory endeavors that result in an object that maps the group’s endeavors to articulate itself is an aspect of the work in The Puzzlement Laboratory.
Having My Cake and Sharing It Too is project of The Puzzlement Laboratory.
The Family Healthcare Crisis Conversation Phase 1 –Help Me Heal is a project of The Puzzlement Laboratory.
The Family Healthcare Crisis Conversation Phase 2 – Crafting Tools for the Coordination and Communication of Care is a project of The Puzzlement Laboratory.
The Family Healthcare Crisis Conversation Phase 3 – Engaging the Medical Healthcare Establishment in Dialogue is a project of The Puzzlement Laboratory.
The Craft and Art i produce – what i would like to call Function Box Bombs are products of The Puzzlement Laboratory.
The Year Of Living Audaciously – Indiegogo fundraiser
So the idea of doing an online fundraiser has been swirling for a while. Trying to craft language and image to make sense of the various parts has been really thwarting. So instead of casting about and turning myself inside out in the struggle to narrow things down for each aspect, it seems to make sense to just go for it and make a fundraiser for the whole package.
In moving forward with this, the lovely folks at Indiegogo have many suggestions to increase the returns. One of the most important aspects is having a team, several people who will be listed on the site and help post updates and create activity and answer inquiries and promote it far and wide. i hope a few of you will be open to being listed. If you aren’t familiar with Indiegogo or even Kickstarter check them out.
With the Day of the Dead Cake Baking marathon quickly approaching i need to get this up and running. There are more than a few costs that need to be covered. Luckily, locally there have been several offers of assistance, for decorating and bakers and also a flour donation is in the works.
i have been working on a list of Premiums for the various levels of donations (another important aspect that increases $s) but need more ideas.
i am going to send this out now. Morgan’s workshop Games for Actors & Non-Actors starts in a few minutes and it make me feel oh so good to do this work/play.
Later this evening i will send out a more specific fundraiser email.
With pleasure in the struggle
xtn
Premiums
i think i am trying to hard with this list of Premiums. Morgan corrected me by reminding me to say Keep It Simple. And i responded: Keep It Simple, Simple.
So these are all under review. Please post your ideas.
Premiums
So these are all under review. Please post your ideas.
Premiums
$0- Your dead will be honored at next year’s Day of the Dead Cake Baking Ritual
$5- i’ll bake a cake in honor of someone or an event of your choice.
$10- A hand crafted potholder or a piece of Mail-Art.
$25- A 2013- 13 month Cake calendar with recipes!
$50- A quarterly Zine about Having Your Cake and Sharing It Too. Recipes, reports from the road or
An item from the Arts & Crafts Gallery
$100- A selection of Audio stories from the years travels on a thumb drive
Or
A Gallery of Cakes for a Screensaver.
$250- A copy of the book A Year Of Baking Cake, Conversing and Concocting Community. (working title)
$500- A Day of Cake baking in your community as a fundraiser for a cause of your choice
Or
A daylong Puzzlement Laboratory workshop for a group in your community.
$1000- A custom designed and sewn bed size quilt.
We have already started.
This is a blog to chronicle The Year Of Living Audaciously!
There are 3 basic elements to this year.
Having My Cake And Sharing It Too;
Family Healthcare Crisis Conversations;
and
The Puzzlement Laboratory.
This blog will soon be linked to several other Social Media outlets and endeavors including an Indiegogo Fundraising campaign and each element will have its own blog or web presence.
That's it for now.
There are 3 basic elements to this year.
Having My Cake And Sharing It Too;
Family Healthcare Crisis Conversations;
and
The Puzzlement Laboratory.
This blog will soon be linked to several other Social Media outlets and endeavors including an Indiegogo Fundraising campaign and each element will have its own blog or web presence.
That's it for now.
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